Ever asked yourself that question?

One day you’re just sitting around, nothing in particular going through your mind and you kind of take a look around you. And then you think a little about what’s up with your life.

Is this it?

This place, this job, these people, the things I do - is this it?

There are only a few different things that can happen next. Usually the question just slides off and fades away until the next time.

Or maybe you realize you are standing at the edge of nothing - this really is it and all of it and all it will ever be and it ain’t worth it - and you fall. There are a million ways to fall. They’re all the same so it really doesn’t matter which one you use. Pick a way to kill your life. The body walks, the face talks, but instead it’s a silent screaming hell.

Or maybe you realize that you are standing at the edge of everything - this is it, this is the moment when you choose, the moment you can become anything. You choose. What is it to be?

In every moment, that’s all there is. Is this it? Oh yes, this is it. This is all there is for anyone - ever. This is the place we live, all of us, from the most miserable to the most exalted.

So what is the difference between heaven and hell? If you meet the buddha, slay him. You are the difference between heaven and hell. Maybe you don’t want to believe it, but you get to choose. Live out that script you’ve been putting together forever or kill the playwright and make it up as you go along.

Is this it? Why not? You expected background music and dramatic lighting? This is life not some movie bs that panders to your secret need to have the unreal and impossible. You have been scripted, your needs created by parents, education, the consumer culture, advertising, maybe some church or other belief system.

It’s about control and control is about fear. Society does it’s damnedest to build in the fears and pseudo-needs, the impossible desires, the morality of the sheep offering it’s neck to the wolf. If you do not desire, if you do not fear, if you neither seek reward and recognition nor fear censure, you have passed beyond control. In the great wilderness of being you stand outside the small area lit by society’s consensus.

Is that where you truly want to go? There’s almost no one out there. You might think the crooks and madmen are there, but they aren’t. They’re playing by the rules. It’s just the role they’ve chosen.

Every truly whacked-out holy person has been co-opted by successors into the control structure of organized religion and society. These are dangerous people. Their ideas are a disaster for the orderly workings of society. You can’t sell these folks a new car so they can keep up with the Jones, they don’t feel the need.

There is a terrible freedom beyond the circle. Most who sense it quickly return to the pallid consensual light and surrender to security.

No magic exists. You are born, walk, run or wander through life and then you die. If you are part of the godhead, avatar of Brahma, nodule of universal consciousness, the buddha, still you live and die.

Is this it? Maybe you’re expecting too much.